Monday, June 8, 2015

Free-flowing negativity

Ugh. Just have to do some venting ....

Things here kind of went down the toilet over the last couple of weeks. Financial situation continuing to deteriorate, still stuck in the $5/hour part-time job despite all my efforts, Wrong Place, Right Time appears to have failed right out of the gate with sales not even getting into the double digits, I was nearly in a car crash last week (guy launched out of a parking lot, almost hit me head-on, and I think I missed him by maybe a quarter of an inch), and just a few days ago I was apparently almost run over while walking across the parking lot at work but didn't even notice since I had so much on my mind (a CSR told me what happened after I got back into the building).

And, to top it all off, a few days ago I took the car to a shop to have leaks in the two rear tires patched. They could patch one, but the other had four nails in it and couldn't be fixed. BAM -- $70 to replace the tire, and now I'm not sure I'll be able to pay the rent next month. Also, they said the other tire will continue leaking, but slowly, though they patched it as well as they could. And the tread on the two front tires is almost completely worn off. That's what a year and a half on a $5/hour delivery job did to my car. And since I just don't have any money to fix the other three tires, all I can do is hope they don't explode in the next few weeks.

So here's another reason it infuriates me that the company only pays $5/hour when drivers are out on deliveries, despite the minimum wage being over $8/hour. The tips from customers don't come out of the company's pocket, so they have no fucking right to pay less than minimum wage, yet they get away with it. And this kind of job destroys cars. A year and a half to wear the tread almost completely off the two front tires. When I got the car (to replace an old car that completely fell apart only two weeks after I was hired, and would've cost far more to fix everything than to just get another car), it ran perfectly. A year and a half later, here are all the things wrong with it aside from the tires:

It's burning oil. I have to put a quart in every single week. And since I have no money to get it fixed, there's nothing I can do about it.

Blue smoke pours out of the exhaust pipe. And there's nothing I can do about it.

The "service engine" light came on a few months after I got the car, and there hasn't been anything I can do about it because no money. And there still isn't. And if I can't get the engine serviced before next April, the car won't pass the emissions test, and I won't be able to keep my job. And since, after two years of applying for better jobs, I haven't even gotten an interview, once I lose this job, it's all over. No one will even talk to me about anything that pays more than $5/hour, so I've finally just given up on that.

If I accelerate too quickly, the engine stalls. If I decelerate too quickly, the engine stalls. If I run the A/C for a few minutes, the engine stalls. And there's nothing I can do about it.

The engine could blow up at any moment, and there's nothing I can do about it. All I can do is hope it'll last a little while longer.

I haven't even left the city since I moved here, but thanks to that job, I've put 30,000 miles on the car in a year and a half. The company should pay at least straight minimum wage because all that wear-and-tear on the car happened because of that job. But no, they pay $5/hour instead, and that just doesn't leave me with the hundreds and hundreds of dollars I'll need to keep the car running so I can keep doing the job that's ruining the car. It's fucking disgusting.

Anyway. Just had to get that off my chest. The only bit of good news I got recently was that Chaser had finally been assigned an editor, and I got his edits a little under a week ago. I got the rewrite done a few days ago and sent it back. I'm hoping the book goes through the rest of the process quickly and is published soon, because right now it's my only shot at making some extra money. And it's been in the process for two and a half years, so I'm hoping it's nearing actual publication.

I'll need to get started on the sequel soon, but first I'm trying to finish Project: Phoenix ASAP so I can polish it and get it into the Kindle Scout program. That $1,500 advance would save my ass right now. So I'm trying to focus on that. Once it's done, I need to get back to Game Over and expand it into a full novel, followed by expanding Mission to Bellatrix into a full novel as well. Assuming I can hang on long enough to get those done ....

Meanwhile, I'll continue putting up the posts from the launch party. Just got derailed by RL stuff over the last couple of weeks.

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